So, I like to believe myself a master planner, a list maker, an organizer. This is mostly by necessity (and maybe by way of my Virgo nature) and yet somehow I got the crazy notion to blog/journal - whatever you want to call it - just before the holidays. What WAS I thinking? So, 2 months later and here I am - having survived (barely) the holidays and admittedly, feeling shame that I didn't keep up on something that I had hoped to start and continue with. I tell myself that life is about just this - trial and error. And, so with that I shall delve back into the realm of discussing my personal life in the form of blogging...
The holidays - goodness they took a toll on me, as they often do. Playing the role of Santa and providing the season's magic for 5 is no easy feat. Each year I tend to reflect on the Christmas holiday - more specifically the few days leading up to Christmas Day and I try to set goals for the following year that will allow for my children to continue with the wonder of Christmas without nearly destroying Steve and I. Destroying may seen too harsh a word- but the fact is we wear ourselves out almost beyond repair to provide all that we do. Christmas Eve!?!? Don't get me started....It is absolutely, positively, unequivocally THE longest night of the year regardless of the time spent beforehand to ensure otherwise. This one single fact may just be the only thing the storymakers got right about Christmas - that Santa is up all night long delivering gifts - that certainly is the truth here.
Now, it may sound like I'm giving off a Scrooge-esque tone - it's not my intention- really. I'm simply stating the reality of our family right now - Christmas is WORK! I try to simply - I really do. I try to make sure that Steve and I have a magical Christmas season too - it just isn't in the cards right now. Perhaps it is because we have "BELIEVERS". It's such a short lived time in the scheme of things. So, although I feel (dare I say as an LDS stay at home mother who does not drink) hung-over Christmas day and really can only recall the days' events by looking at photos that I apparently snapped on the 25th of December - It's okay! I want to (and love to) provide the magic and wonder of the season for my children. Afterall, is there anything as wonderful as a houseful of little ones tucked into bed anticipating the arrival of the big guy? Heavens no! Well, perhaps there is....a sleeping baby, heart-felt hugs from my sweet children, "I love yous" (I could go on here). But, at the end of it all I fall apart physically. It takes awhile to get back my energy and sense of well-being. Sleep deprivation - it's a bitch.
During the days of November & December there are school assemblies, classroom parties (for four of my five), family traditions - LOADS of them, shopping, baking, cleaning, budgeting, decking of the halls - y'know typical holiday *stuff* to take care of above and beyond the daily grind. I realize this is the case for most. In our particular situation, it's the size of family we're doing this for and then the little issue of not having any family nearby who participate whatsoever, putting more pressure on me to make-up for that (that's an entirely different post right there). Anyhoo, I actually enjoy the extra busyness of it all and often (after the holiday recoup) am left to feel a little out of sorts trying to figure out what to do with myself ;) Can't win for losing ;) I'm sure to blog more about that as those weeks arrive for me shortly.
Tonight (actually, just looked at the time @ it's 12:30 - so early morning now...) I am able to add a new entry to this blog because Steve is not here preoccupying my time ;) He's with Noah in Denver for Noah's monthly check-in/blood draw for the clinical trial he is in currently. They SO enjoy these trips together and I LOVE that they get the opportunity to spend alone time - something so rare where you're one of 5 kiddlets. Tradition holds that they fly out on a Sunday early afternoon, hit the ESPN Zone in Downtown Denver shortly after landing and picking up the rental car - play an hour or so in the ridiculously cool arcade area, grab a black leather recliner each and kick back in the viewing room while chowing down and enjoying some high profile football game (Yikes - was that a run-on sentence? ). Those boys are in testosterone heaven! The following morning they get up early, hit the Barbara Davis Center on the U of C campus to take care of business and hit the airport to return home. It's a whirlwind trip, but from all accounts given by the guys - totally worth it. Would it be inappropriate to say that there is in fact somewhat of a cool side to this whole Type 1 Diabetes thing? (And listen, there is so little *good* about it - I've got to, for my sanity, find something that is a positive).
I could say 'till next time. However, to relieve any pressure on myself, let me just state that "next time" could be another 2 months out. If I've learned anything in the last several months, it's that life can throw you a curve ball so stinking fast, leave you with your jaw dropped and feeling like you've been hit by a Mac Truck OR as in the case of Christmas, I can bring that same feeling on myself by (perhaps) overdoing it all. Either way, the end result is that chronicling it all can be the furthest thing from my mind. That being said - I'll be here again, when I can...
